Frustrating Experience

For those of you following this blog regularly, you'll know that Greg and I had our "big ultrasound" last Monday morning. While the tech told us there was a chance that it was a girl, she made sure to let us know that she wasn't certain. We weren't too worried about this, because we had a followup doctor's appointment on Thursday morning, where the doctor was going to analyze our ultrasound results and let us know how the baby was doing, what it actually was, etc.

Well. Thursday morning rolls around, and we were both so excited. We're sitting in the doctor's office, and after he comes in, the first thing he says is, "So, have you had your ultrasound yet?". I was SO mad. The whole point of the visit was for us to go over the results of the ultrasound, and not only did he not have the results/any pictures, he didn't even KNOW we'd had one! It was soo frustrating. When we told him we had, he stepped out of the room for literally 30 seconds, where he reportedly checked on the results. He came back in with no pictures, no papers, nothing, and said that "everything is fine." How am I supposed to believe that, if he didn't even know we'd had one, and he was gone for all of 30 seconds?! On top of that, he chose this time to let me know that my quad screening, which is a blood test they do around 15 weeks, turned out fine. Glad he waited 8 weeks to even check on those results!

It was all so frustrating. I thought I was going to cry. Greg even asked him specifically if he could check the pictures and help us determine the gender with some degree of certainty, and he said "oh, we can check on that in 6 weeks, when you come back for your next appointment". Just TOTALLY insensitive to the situation, and completely unable to put himself in the shoes of a first time mom! I was so upset.

THEN he goes on a lecture suggesting I've been gaining too much weight. Which is fine to say, if it's true, but the way he said it was awful. He passively said "I see you've gained some weight since you're last appointment" (which was at 15 weeks). Noo kidding, I'm pregnant! And 15-23 weeks is the time when your weight gain starts to pick up a bit. Anyway, we had to prod him to ask him what he meant by that (I guess he was planning on leaving it at his passive comment), and when he answered, he gave the most conviluted, ridiculous nutrition talk I've EVER heard. First, he didn't even ask me about what my own diet has been, or what I've been doing exercise wise. So no questions about ME. He went on and said "I'd just stay away from ice cream and those second helpings," as if I think the world is an all you can eat buffet these days. Then he said "and don't eat fruit, but don't worry about the fat content in foods, because it's not important during pregnancy." WHAT?!? Crazy talk! So I'm supposed to go out and eat a cheeseburger, but no fruit? Ridiculous. And to have a man say that to me about ice cream and second helpings is pretty much a trigger to every girl's low self-esteem point.

The fact of the matter is, I've gained around 20 pounds, and I'm 23 weeks. So maybe I'll gain just a touch more than the 25-35 recommended gain, but everyone is different, and it's not like I can really starve myself at this point! I'm eating well, and exercising. And it's just frustrating to have a doctor that's clearly just grasping for things to talk about, because he hasn't done his homework before an appointment.

Needless to say, I was so upset for the rest of the day last Thursday. I even pondered switching over to a more expensive insurance plan that the military offers, for the sake of being able to choose what hospital I go to, and not have to go through military medicine. After talking to a bunch of my friends, I've decided to give it one more shot, and switch over to a midwife at the hospital, who everyone says is so good and sensitive and nice. So I'm going to see her when I go back for my next appointment, at the end of July. Hopefully things will be better that time!

In the meantime, I'm going to go to an independent ultrasound tech tomorrow, who does ultrasounds specifically to determine the gender (and not who is looking for overall health, and looks at the gender as a secondary thing, like hospitals do). Hopefully this will give us a little bit more confidence about what we're having.

Just thought I'd share that with you all. It's been a wild ride, and I have to say, I don't think the socialized healthcare of the military has made it much easier. Hopefully going forward I'll get a bit more attention from this midwife, but we'll see - my expectations aren't too high at this point!