I know my posts usually don't dwell on the intricacies of Greg's schedule and military life, but this week has been really hard. I have struggled in the past with not letting people know when I'm going through a hard time, and tend to keep things to myself. In this lifestyle, there are SO many curveballs constantly coming at us (and every military couple), that I've learned that to try to brush things under the rug can easily turn into a big crazy mess. Which is why, during this time that is proving to be more and more challenging by the day, I've decided to ask for your prayers.
This week has been especially hard. To start, Greg had to do a lot of the "paperwork" that people do before they get deployed. By paperwork, I mean write a will and sign a power of attorney for me, in case I ever need to "act as Greg" while he's gone. It's stuff like this that bring the reality of the the military close to home, and exposes everyone's worst fears about it. Most people don't have to deal with stuff like this until they're much older, and it's just hard to digest! For obvious reasons. Enough about that - just a preface to my week.
Then, yesterday I find out that Greg is most likely going to be gone the last week in August and the first week in September for more pre-deployment stuff. To summarize, he's going to be gone all of July and will be back on August 4th. On the 6th we fly back to Blue Bell to say goodbye to his family and friends, and come back the 10th. He works at home for a week, then goes back out to the field on August 17th. We had been told up until yesterday that this week of August 17th was the last week that they would be gone before being deployed in November. But now, after that week, he'll be gone (with little to no phone or email) until the second week in September. This is just heartbreaking to me. By that time I'll be 8 months pregnant, and to think that I only have one week between now and September with Greg is so sad. Not to mention, if for some reason something happens and I go into labor early, I'll be all alone.
I spent the best part of today coming to terms with this news, reminding myself that God has a plan for everything (something that has been a focus of my Bible study this week), but still wondering what the heck it is. And telling myself, like I always do, that the good news is that it can't get worse from here.
Well. The battalion commander of Greg's unit informed them tonight that the main body of the unit will be deployed "before Halloween." This is a huge difference from the mid-November timeframe they were originally given. Greg will most likely be in the group that goes first before the rest of the unit, since his position almost always is. This "advon" group leaves about 2 weeks before the rest of the unit. What does that mean for us? Two weeks before "before Halloween"...RIGHT around my due date. It's so frustrating to me that two weeks to their unit are negligible, and something to shift around lightly, but for us, it's the difference between Greg spending time with our daughter and me before he goes and potentially missing her birth, especially if she comes late.
So that's where I am now. Confused that only a day later, it HAS gotten worse. And that Greg and I now have about 4 weeks together total before he gets deployed. I know I can't ever know why this is happening to us, but it's just so hard when the light at the end of the tunnel is a year away (when Greg comes home, and our family is together again). The only thing we have now is our wonderful marriage (which I don't take for granted, and is stronger than it could ever be because of all of this) and our health. But because something else always does seem to tip the scales, I can't help but fear that something else will happen.
I'm sorry to sound so negative, but I would really appreciate your thoughts and prayers now. Life on an emotional rollercoaster is tough enough, because schedules are constantly changing and new situations are always arising. But please, if you read this, say a little prayer that we will be blessed with health and happiness, despite all of this. And if it's not in the cards for Greg to be here for Caroline's birth or to leave days later, please pray that we have the strength to appreciate the moments we do have together. And please, above all, say a little prayer that we will all make it through the next year healthy, and will be reunited together again in June to resume a semi-normal life.
That's enough for tonight. Thank you all for your support, and I promise I won't drag you down more with my sob story!
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