Great Q&A

One of the websites I frequent is an awesome blog called Faith Deployed. It was started by Jocelyn Green, after her book "Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragemet for Military Wives" was a huge hit among military spouses. I bought this book while Greg was deployed (I believe after I stumbled upon it during a Google search for "coping with deployments" in the depths of winter), and love it! I love her site even more, because she updates it daily and, like the book, has many guest writers (both military members and spouses write).

Yesterday there was a great Q&A with a Marine wife, Catherine Fitzgerald. She leads small groups within military spouse circles, and she shared some of her experiences for how she copes with deployments.

One of the things I struggle with is trying to describe the struggles of the military lifestyle with my family and friends. It's hard, especially coming from a wife's perspective, because very few of my family and friends have grown up in the military or been Marine wives. Well, good news - this woman has done what I have been trying to do for years! Her answers perfectly describe how I deal with deployments, Greg being gone, having a baby without him, and how, in the midst of the hardest times in both Greg's and my lives, we grew in our faith so much. Hopefully these excerpts will give a nice window into, at the very least, the take-aways I've had in this life. Enjoy...


What are some recurring challenges you face as a military wife? How do you deal with those?
"I think the biggest challenge is accepting that while most people get married so they will never have to be apart from their best friend, my life is one where I am alone sometimes more than I am with him. The way I’ve learned to handle that is to pursue the interests I have, whether it be trying new recipes I know he wouldn’t eat, focusing on my writing, or learning something new. Embracing the time apart instead of fighting it is so important. There is no way to change it so I need to make the best of it!
 The other major challenge is single parenting. We have a beautiful, energetic three-year-old and I have not recovered from my lack of energy since the day she was born. Having to do everything on my own for half of every year is daunting and can sometimes make me feel bitter or angry. I try to keep focused on why it is so hard when he is gone. He is just such an amazing father that when he is home, my burden is lifted as I have so much help from him. What a blessed little girl who is getting an amazing image of her heavenly father through her earthly one. This can make that time when I am a single parent a time to reflect on the blessing my husband is."


 What are some of the biggest joys related to being a military wife?
 "The greatest joys are the women I have met along the way. They are some of the most incredible people I know and they have taught and blessed me in so many ways. There is an instant bond between us military wives that is not comprehended by those outside this lifestyle. I also think a great joy is learning the art of sacrifice. This life brings me closer to understanding Jesus, whether I like it or not. Every day is a day where I am forced to lay my own desires and interests down for others. It is a hard, hard lesson to learn, but it shows me a glimpse of how difficult that sacrifice must have been for Christ. It draws me closer to Him as I realize I cannot do this on my own."

 When you have a really down day, what do you do to get back up again?
"I let myself cry. I let myself eat the ice cream. I let myself have a day to lay on the couch and watch tv all day, but after that time, it is time to get back up and keep going. It’s important to give ourselves a few liberties, but it is also important to not allow it to turn into a drawn out period of self-pitying. Our life is undoubtedly difficult, but there are lives much more difficult than mine and I have to keep focused on all the blessings I’ve been given."

What role does faith play in your daily life- in the little things, and in the big things (like deployments)?
The past two years, I have faced some of the greatest struggles I have ever dealt with and my natural self is an anxious person. I prayed for years for God to take my anxiety away and the way He did that was through me turning every fear, every emotion, every thought into a prayer. As I am dealing with loneliness that comes from deployments, I’ve learned to pray to God what I am feeling or thinking and get to know Him more intimately through His word. My faith has really evolved in the past couple of years, especially since being a military wife, from being a compartmentalized piece of my life to being my life. I’ve learned that even in the hardest, most difficult, gut wrenching circumstances, I can get through things with God that I never thought I could. The things I thought would have just corroded my faith, have become the things that have made it stronger."

 Do you have a favorite verse that helps get you through tough times?
 ”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 reminds me to take each day one at a time. Looking into the future of a deployment or upcoming difficulty will overwhelm sometimes. But, just remembering to take the day God has given you and do what He wants in this present moment is so much easier than trying to deal with all the future worries that may or may not come to be."