Semper Gumby Adventures: The Countdown Begins

Today was the day Greg and I have been preparing for, waiting for, and ultimately, dreading for what has literally been years now. Even when we were dating in college, we talked about the inevitable deployment that would come, and how hard it would be. Here we are, six years after we met, and the day has come.

As expected, saying goodbye was every bit as hard as I thought it would. One thing that was better, however, was the way we both spent our last few weeks together. I've heard from so many people and professional "deployment specialists" that the weeks leading up to a deployment are often extremely stressful, with many couples fighting about petty issues that are really just disguising the fact that they don't want to leave each other. I can honestly say that Greg and I did nothing but enjoy each other's company for the past few weeks. Our roadtrip to San Francisco was incredible and unforgettable, and we just laughed and enjoyed the time together that was long overdue. Even the two weeks after we got back, when there were endless errands and things to get done all centering on the upcoming deployment, we both kept things really light and enjoyed each moment together. Not once was there a petty fight, crying, or anything.

Honestly, in thinking about this, it truly happened by the grace of God. I have been praying for strength throughout the deployment for so long now, and I felt like He was just showing us how we can do it. Normally, I am sad for days and weeks in advance when Greg is about to leave (case in point: I used to cry EVERY Sunday night in Richmond when he'd go back to Quantico or Camp Lejeune, just for 5 measly days). Normally, Greg becomes reserved and stressed out when a new, foreign task is at hand. But we were both laid back and happy - it was a miracle, and so wonderful.

The sadness and reality of him leaving really hit us yesterday, around mid afternoon. It's ok to be sad - something that I was never really taught when I was little, but once the tear ducts opened they seemed to be endless. We spent last night together with Rocky, packing up the final details, recording Greg reading books for baby Caroline, and writing letters for each other to read when she is born. We stayed up talking about how lucky, happy, and blessed we are. I truly could not do anything like this with anyone else. Greg has made me so much stronger, and has helped me view the world through a fairer lens, taking each day as it comes and truly appreciating the small things. Despite how miserable deployments can be, it is wonderful that we have this opportunity to reflect on our marriage, and reflect on its strengths while addressing the areas where we can make it even stronger.

This deployment already has made us realize the importance of faith, as well. It's so easy to brush this aside when everything is fine, but when you are literally across the world from the person you love the most, there is no greater comfort for us than relying on God to get our (growing) family through this. It all goes back to the homily on our wedding day - God is the one blessing our relationship, who is helping us get through every day. I think it's easy to rely completely on a significant other and almost elevate them to this pillar of support, but at the end of the day, both of you are not in control of your life. Enough preaching, just a thought - it's been really amazing, even in the past couple of weeks, to see this happen. I know God will keep us both safe and bless us, and that alone is providing so much comfort.

Today was rough. We woke up early, Greg said goodbye to Rocky, and after making breakfast to take with us in the car (neither of us took a bite of our waffles/toast - our appetite was completely nonexistent), we headed to base. First Greg dropped off his bags, then went to the armory to pick up his weapons. Then we had about an hour to kill, and so we went to Carl's Jr. to get something to eat. Again - a waste of $20, since we barely ate any of it. Amidst it all, Greg quipped that we had come full circle - spending quality time in a car before we had to part ways, since this is what we used to do when I would drive up to Annapolis in college and we had to say goodbye.

After the snack that we never ate, we made our way over to Victory Field, where the 70 people who left in the advance party were with their wives and kids. I expected to hear so many tears that any other conversations would be inaudible, but instead, there was this eery fake happiness that everyone was trying to have. Talking to family, cracking jokes, and hanging out with people we barely knew - that's what everyone was doing. Even though the rest of the morning had dragged on, the half hour that we we at Victory Field flew by, because of these distractions. All of a sudden, someone came over the speaker saying that it was time to load the busses. Greg took me over to a corner of the pavilion, where we said our goodbyes. One of the last thing he said was "the countdown begins now". So true. Almost one day down. Then he walked to his bus, and I walked in the opposite direction to my car. Looking back once, at the same time, and waving. At this point, I just wanted the goodbye to be over. Next time I'm on Victory Field, it will be in April/May, with a huge smile on my face, waiting to take him home - I can't wait!

Funny thing is, as I was driving out of base on my back road, I realized that the two busses were right in front of me. I looked down at my phone, and saw a text from Greg - "I see you back there." I smiled, and of coursed passed the busses as soon as the road turned into a four lane highway. When I got back home, I received an email from Greg, with a photo he took with his phone as I passed his bus. It made me smile that he was watching me, even though we had already parted ways.

This afternoon, instead of running errands and keeping myself busy, I went home and rested. I broke down in tears when I saw Rocky again, but only because he is the small part of Greg that is staying here with me (besides baby Caroline, of course, but we have yet to meet her). The first person to call me was actually my Grammy, which was very sweet. She never calls, but called to say she was thinking of me, since she went through the same thing when she was my age (literally - having a deployed husband having a baby while he was gone). She is the only person in my family who knows what it feels like to go through this, and honestly, it meant a lot that she called. I also spoke to Katherine, who kept my spirits high as always, and Linda, who is also going through a lot of the same feelings I am, I'm sure. Then I took Rockstar on a walk, and spoke with Kyle (Greg's friend from high school and my friend from college), who also was so sweet to call. Finally, Frank (Greg's friend from college, who is in Greg's unit out here and was also in our wedding) took me out to dinner. It was great to see him, and have some good laughs, as always.

Phew. So that was my day. Thank all of you for your emails, phone calls, and support. For those of you who I have not replied to yet, I will, I promise! It will be hard seven months, with good days and bad days, and hopefully it will go by fast. It's all very surreal right now, but please keep your prayers coming! We are so grateful for family and friends.

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